www.acmeyer.com : The Seventh Bush 2101 AD - a satirical novel (parody) of the Bush Dynasty

Prologue

The United States of America. 2050 A.D.
(Somewhere near Carlsbad, New Mexico)

“Yes, sir, Mr. President, sir. You heard me correctly!” General Norman North screamed into the microphone of his headset, wind whipping across his face, the sand it carried stinging his cheeks and eyes. “There is absolutely no way we can take these peaceniks down! They have some kind of gizmo that is taking out our guys by the thousands. I can’t tell how many of them they have, but I’ve lost twenty thousand soldiers in less than five minutes. I’m pulling back right now! You better get your spin doctors to work, sir.”
“Okay, Norm. I trust your judgment. Get on out of there. I’ll get my press secretary right on it. See you once you’ve returned to the city.” Prescott Sheldon Bush III, the 57th president of the United States, ended the communication. He stared at the painting of Jesus Christ on the wall of his office for a moment, and then picked up the telephone receiver, punching in a number. “Joe?”

In a living room somewhere in the underground city of Las Vegas, a six-year old boy named Richard Gore watched TV at home with his parents.
“In breaking news, it is feared that all twenty thousand citizens of the fledgling community known as the New Kingdom of Caral, residing in the Carlsbad Caverns, were killed today. Details are unclear right now, but the president’s press secretary, Joseph Gorbolds, will hold a press conference in fifteen minutes. He is expected to announce that all of the caves collapsed in on themselves as the result of a massive earthquake, measuring seven-point-three on the Richter scale. Although these individuals have officially seceded from the United States of America to set up an independent country, the president has sent military personnel down there to search for any survivors.” The pretty, Caucasian, blond-and-blue newscaster shuffled some papers and resumed in a cheerful voice, “In other news, a mega-tornado is expected to pass very close to the city limits tonight. Residents on city level one are advised to keep an eye out for a five-mile-wide funnel cloud reaching down as much as five thousand feet from its origin wall clouds. The twister will be spinning at wind speeds of up to four hundred miles an hour and is expected to…”

“I speak to you today as the seventh Bush president. Elected presidents of my family dynasty have led this country to greatness for seventy-three of the last one hundred and thirteen years. To this day, in McMeatball’s restaurants, we still call ‘french’ fries ‘freedom’ fries in honor of George W. Bush and the just war he initiated in the name of the Lord and Freedom early last century. He and many Bushes since then have heroically smote terrorists, who shared no common ethos, that lived, well, anywhere and everywhere we needed them to. God bless America and in God we trust. Amen.”